Crack Addict interview-Patrick (February, 2021 update) 

Views 257K
98% 2 520 50

Soft White Underbelly update interview and portrait of Patrick, a crack addict in Los Angeles.
For ad-free versions of SWU videos, as well as some exclusive videos please subscribe to Soft White Underbelly's US-first Membership Channel.
Here's a link to the GoFundMe campaign to support this channel and to help some of the people in these videos: www.gofundme.com/3j7un-soft-white-underbelly
Here’s a link to audio only versions of SWU videos: asmrdb.fanlink.to/softwhiteunderbelly

Film & Animation

Published on


Feb 20, 2021




Loading link...

Add to:

My playlist
Watch later
Comments 100   
Monique 9 days ago
These interviews remind me of that first time I came to the realization that not everyone wants help or can be helped. When I was 9 I was exploring a creek behind my house and came across this homeless woman living in a tent with her dog. Looking back she didn’t physically look like a 100% sober person. I asked if she was okay and she started crying. I invited her to my house and my parents fed her and we gave her a ride to the Bart station. I don’t know what happened to her but I remember my parents insinuating that she didn’t really want too much help and doesn’t want to change her circumstances. The feeling of wanting to help someone is amazing but realizing that you have no power to help them because they can’t accept it is one of the most heart breaking things . Mark , how do you feel when you want to help someone but they just aren’t able to accept the help? Do you ever get tired of offering help because the denial becomes something that negatively affects you in some type of way? Or do you just accept that some people won’t want help and let it go. and you focus on those that do?
Dontworry Aboutit
Dontworry Aboutit 19 hours ago
When an addict get to this point he may not think he wants help but that is the addiction talking. It’s not that they don’t want help it’s finding the right kind of help.
michael nixson
michael nixson 21 hour ago
Yeah, you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink.! I was trying to help someone recently until I realised that she didn’t want me to really help. Then I started to think who am I doing this for, myself or this woman. Who knows maybe I have some other motives by doing this. It’s not the obvious, but she has no motivation herself. Most people who are near rock bottom say they need help, which they do, but they have no drive and genuinely see no way out. It’s so sad.
Andrew Lawson
Andrew Lawson 22 hours ago
@Soft White Underbelly I have been battling and fighting off relapse the entire pandemic, and nearing the end I stumbled randomly onto your channel. I don't have actual words to explain exactly what; but it helped me understand a lot of things that I knew, but didn't implement in my life because I never loved myself enough. I am extremely lucky that I am not exactly in his position and your work actually made that very faint, small voice telling me to keep moving forward a hell of a lot more that addiction has no single identity and no single cure and the only way to overcome it is to do exactly this. Come to terms with honesty and love it like I love my very small, but powerful family that I am so lucky to have. Addiction is a self centered persistent cycle. When you really look at yourself you can begin to untangle whatever else is missing that makes those cravings so powerful.Then you have to understand the flip that I see in Patrick. Just so painfully aware that it became a weapon against him instead of for him.
TheReal Sensei
My brothers 40 and addicted to heroin. You can’t help everyone no matter how nice it must feel. My brother has stolen thousands of dollars from me especially in items. Sad sad case reasons why I don’t fucking talk to him anymore
Mysasser1 2 days ago
This is hella too deep. Wow! I'm thinking about these people way differently.
Backyard Forge
Backyard Forge 44 minutes ago
I've always wanted to start a farm, milk cows, alpaca, chickens, rabbits, gardening vegetables small nothing like the big agriculture. For addict's to come work live off the land. I know there's probably something out there that does this. But I did this coming out of the army as a way to reflect and reconditioning my mind. It was a friend of the family and they opened thier doors to me. The 12 step didn't do shit for me and can keep people in a cycle. This is just from my experience.
ArmsInc 2 hours ago
I hope he gets help this is 😥😔
HigherPlanes 4 hours ago
I believe society and a disconnect from nature is the cause for drug addiction.
HigherPlanes 4 hours ago
HELL: The absence of God's love.
Miguel Ramirez
Miguel Ramirez 4 hours ago
Sadly to hear..... that HE LOVES smoking crack .... sad sad imma go to bed sad after this !
HigherPlanes 4 hours ago
The world can be an ugly place and drugs can make it beautiful.
Makayla Woody
Makayla Woody 4 hours ago
Patrick! I’m so glad you guys are following up on him. Please keep doing that!!!!
dragonchaser 5 hours ago
Interveiwer is a vulture
GRAIN MUSIC 5 hours ago
I have never seen someone so honest.
Cocoa Girl66
Cocoa Girl66 6 hours ago
I wonder how this man ended up where he is ,he seems so kind so honest I so hope he is able to turn his life around .This guy seems so ok praying for him
David French
David French 6 hours ago
If you’re an addict over the age of 25. You will most likely be an addict for life. The only real advice you can give someone is that you have to replace the addiction. So... the best way is get yourself addicted to opioids, if you’re not already and make that you’re drug of choice for a year at least, and then get into a suboxone maintenance program. Suboxone will save your life even though it’s not perfect. But it’s your best bet to survive your 30’s.
Matthew Fitzpatrick
I feel like if society started taking that attitude we'd all be a lot better off. Obviously these drugs are 1000x powerful than any one person's willpower, need to fight fire with fire, drugs with drugs. Rehabs seem to be pretty ineffective, but are a billion dollar industry, so they're probably not going anywhere.
Nate Jones
Nate Jones 6 hours ago
High for less than an hour and thats why crack is so addicting...
ShadowMare Z
ShadowMare Z 7 hours ago
So your channel is about Self-Love...But he clearly doesn't love himself, Just crack.
Talking Thunder
Talking Thunder 7 hours ago
I hate crackheads.
Solar Panel
Solar Panel 7 hours ago
I think a lot of times it boils down to Environment for most people. For me, when I change environments, I find NO need for drugs at all. Literally dont even crave them when I am in certain environments. Environments that have a lot of things I enjoy doing. But when I go back to where my family lives- my hometown- there is literally NOTHING around that I enjoy doing except for maybe 2 things, and drugs... So in my case, I would always always relapse when I was in my hometown for too long. Every time I got OUT of my environment and went somewhere I actually enjoyed, I did extremely well.... So I think all cases are unique to the individual as far as a relapse goes after getting clean...
Anacott Steel
Anacott Steel 7 hours ago
His honesty to him is what’s keeping him barely on the right side of things. As long as he has that he’s not 100% the worst version of himself. It’s commendable. Or he’s playing the long game. We won’t know till later.
Benjamin White
Benjamin White 7 hours ago
I can help this guy. This guy was me.
Jenkem OD
Jenkem OD 7 hours ago
This dude has so much to offer! He is going to get clean!
Michael Scott
Michael Scott 8 hours ago
No human being is a thing.
Jenkem OD
Jenkem OD 8 hours ago
It seems like this dude's biggest problem isn't so much that he smokes crack, but that he runs out of crack. I wonder what would happen to his life if he just had infinite crack? I feel like things would be better for him no?
Skuz Buxet
Skuz Buxet 8 hours ago
Patrick is my favorite, he reminds me of myself when I was smoking meth and heroin, I hope he finds peace and sobriety.
Bigred Ginger
Bigred Ginger 8 hours ago
He ended with "don't smoke crack" what a guy 🤘 rooting for ya. Really.
Joe Rogaine
Joe Rogaine 8 hours ago
“For me, feeling the presence of God always comes with crying.” That was relatable. Makes me wonder if its God or just chemicals being released in my brain
Douglas Fleming
Douglas Fleming 7 hours ago
Holy shit Joe Rogaine! I love your podcast and hair products man!!!
DrewStarrr 9 hours ago
On a side note, i dont know if anyone has mentioned this but he looks like a cracked out version of aaron rodgers
Rosalba Martinez
Rosalba Martinez 9 hours ago
I met Patrick at Gaads 5 or so years ago. He's a wonderful person and deserves his recovery. Please have him contact me, I know how difficult it is and I'd like to help him. Tell him Rosie Martinez would like to hear from him. Thanks.
55_KingPin_55 9 hours ago
Lol I also have a hard time finding words n completing sentences coherently if Iv been up for a day or 2 smoking tho I’d be smoking meth
Cristian Hernández
Cristian Hernández 10 hours ago
I want to help Patrick, how can get hold of him?
Moto Mo
Moto Mo 11 hours ago
How many people doubt if any of this is real?
martinwarner13 11 hours ago
You really got talking about how addicts want the worse for themselves, personally I hated myself and got as fucked up as I could wishing you wake up next time. That God I'm 13 months clean right now, but I'm still burdened with self loathing, depression and anxiety. But hey that fells nice to tell the Internet 🤘
jaime delgado
jaime delgado 11 hours ago
guys ... let's start a gofundme for Patrick. help him get on his feet. seems like a good dude
random viewer
random viewer 9 hours ago
you gota be kidding all that money will get smoked up you cant jus throw money at problems.....
TheTruth 12 hours ago
I wonder how manny recovering addicts get triggers by these videos.
quietkidsofficial 13 hours ago
You confessed Christ! Your reward will be heaven!
Lars Volbracht
Lars Volbracht 13 hours ago
just found this chanel today and am binge watching interviews.so unfiltered and not scripted stories about real life.sad but also beautiful and just "honest".the 20$ story at 7min got me good :D hope he is getting better.frightening what drugs do to people's life :-/
Taylor Pastor
Taylor Pastor 13 hours ago
I can't tell you enough how much my whole being hopes patrick get's the help he deserves. i have an older family member who reminds me a lot of patrick. the most warm and almost familiar soul i have ever known but just so lost and full of self hatred that they cannot see how beautiful and full of love life can truly be. i hope the universe keeps him protected and safe in his journey
Infinite Awareness
Infinite Awareness 13 hours ago
Too bad these people don't actually know that they are manifesting and they are so POWERFUL. Super powerful manifestation skills they have...too bad they don't manifest things for the highest good. Desire and love your self preservation and miracles WILL happen. If only they loved themselves as much as the love the drugs. Either way LOVE is the key.
SimplyDad 13 hours ago
This has nothing to do with crack. This is a spiritual problem. This is pain its always about pain
Eujean Lohnes
Eujean Lohnes 13 hours ago
we hold the line for Patrick. Addiction is a disease.
Dustin Nelson
Dustin Nelson 13 hours ago
What an ending!
Shady Meat Man
Shady Meat Man 13 hours ago
I don't know where this guy lives but I went to Tarzana Treatment Center for three months after being addicted to drugs and alcohol for about 12 years and I've now been sober for 11 months. I had no idea that it was even possible for me to do so but this past 11 months have been the best months in the past 12 years. I can't even believe how much of an improvement of life I have since being sober. If you're struggling, then just know that it is very possible to live a happy and sober life. ❤️
Sky Love
Sky Love 13 hours ago
This mans brain is so damaged
skater4life2360 13 hours ago
Patrick is too handsome, smart, and genuine for all this. Take care brother, YOU can do it!
brad dillon
brad dillon 14 hours ago
I knew a guy like this he past away a year ago.. he live a normal life family good job.. every 4-6 month would get his paycheck and be gone for a week on a crack binge. Wouldn’t come home til he was dead broke.. this process relived its self for years while I knew him. He was the father of my first gf. Put his family thru hell . He act so normal do what he needed to do then outta the blue go off and be gone a week.
Breast Cancer Sip & Chat with Queen B
Patrick ... GOD'S trying to tell you something ... LISTEN ,,, Listen to this song by Marvin Sapp. I am going to pray for you and continue to pray for you. I just want you to get well and live a happy and healthy life. Keep crying .. eventually you will get the help you need. GOD is watching over you. Sometimes you need to hit ROCK BOTTOM, which you clearly have not done yet. Pray without ceasing. Love Queen B
Jon Ross
Jon Ross 15 hours ago
I feel for this guy...
David Lear
David Lear 15 hours ago
Aaron Rodgers fell hard
ian wood
ian wood 16 hours ago
He won't make it.
Kim August
Kim August 16 hours ago
You truly seem like such a good, nice guy and good looking, please get yourself into a program before you end up living on skid row. You have your whole life ahead of you don't throw it away. You are such an honest guy, which is hard to find in this world especially with someone that is on drugs.
Kevin Guthrie
Kevin Guthrie 16 hours ago
Time flies when you're having fun
Full Comanche
Full Comanche 16 hours ago
He wants to die but doesn’t want to kill himself because he is a Christian. Poor soul. Tortured. Hope you can find peace some day.
Dan Hanrahan
Dan Hanrahan 17 hours ago
Patrick - "If you knew yourself for even one moment, if you could just glimpse your most beautiful face, maybe you wouldn’t slumber so deeply in that house of clay. Why not move into your house of joy and shine into every crevice! For you are the secret Treasure-bearer, and always have been. Didn’t you know?"~ Rumi
Fruit 17 hours ago
I thought this was new version of that Alabama rehab shit 😂
RapiDEraZeR 18 hours ago
He's such a mess right now.
GURB 18 hours ago
Don’t get how his brain is still functional, so toxic stimulant abuse.
S B 19 hours ago
This is insane. Thanks for such an open and honest account to the psyche of a serious addict.
Shane S.
Shane S. 20 hours ago
Patrick is deserving of a clean happy loving life . My prayers go out for him . You can do this Patrick fight hard!!
Darrin's coils&clouds
29:30 his shit is laced with fentanyl?? He’s describing heroin detox
michael nixson
michael nixson 21 hour ago
I get the honesty thing in telling about the money, but we’ve all had days where it just doesn’t happen that way. As for love, people sometimes think it means being “in love” with yourself . Love yourself, just don’t fall in love! Narcissism has a big impact on everyone, not just those with the condition.
Lil boat
Lil boat 21 hour ago
If Aaron Rodgers was a crack addict. How’s your deep ball?
Lil boat
Lil boat 13 hours ago
Okay so since watching the video I feel slightly worse about this joke that was made in poor taste. Patrick, I’ve never been an addict but you seem like the most genuine and real guys I’ve seen on this channel and I’m rooting for you, man. When you said “I’m feeling better today.... for what it’s worth” and that highlights what mark has been saying. Being happy is the ultimate goal in life, whether for a day, a moment, or 24/7. Your happiness is priceless. Again, it may sound ignorant coming from someone who has never suffered from an addiction, but i don’t think your ending has been written yet. Fuck crack
DaftFader 22 hours ago
This guy's off his rocker coming down from last night lol, I'm sure he only turned up cos you were gonna give him money. xD
D's Wild Adventures
D's Wild Adventures 22 hours ago
Mark, you are an angel. You are giving these people that can't see their worth a voice. I watch this to heal myself. I'm 40 years old and have learned so many things listening to how they self sabotage. Mine manifest in a different form, but as a foster child, I could see myself in their shoes. I did find a night in shining armor, who has been with me through processing all the self hate. Thank you for what you are doing.
John Scally
John Scally 22 hours ago
@Soft White Underbelly Would it be possible to set up a Go Fund Me for Patrick's rehab? He mentioned problems with his insurance. Is there anyone in his support circle who could help? Patrick clearly needs and wants help. The crack is in control here.
ddal1221 Day ago
I can't believe this is the first time I've seen anything from your channel. You are doing very important work. Not only for the people you are interviewing, but also for people who find themselves in a dark place. As you said, self-love (or lack thereof) seems to be a common theme amongst people who end up in a position like Patrick. There are no doubt plenty of people who will watch this, listen to your conversation, and realize they could easily find themselves in his shoes someday. Furthermore, there are countless individuals who no doubt look at individuals like Patrick and write them off as a lost cause that is not worth helping. Your channel has the power to change these minds. Thank you.
SarraTarra Day ago
You HAVE TO bring Gabor Mate on your channel and interview him about the causes of addiction! First trauma happens, then comes the addictive behaviour which can be cocaine, alcohol, gambling, whatever So the only way to "get through" to Patrick (or anyone else for that matter) is emotionally, not intellectually. He chokes up every time the word love is mentioned, or anything that is related to the feeling of self-love, or Jesus' humility and love of others.
aBLA Day ago
hey mark i love your videos. instead of giving him cash you should give him grocery store gift cards or work it out with his landlord that you can contribute a part of his rent one month or something that would still really make a difference for him without being money. that way he is still being compensated for his time, but not with something that will contribute to the problem like you had voiced your concern about in the previous video. unfortunately i feel that he got the money and bought a lot more than usual and that sparked the binge. obviously i don't know that as a fact, but that's just what makes sense to me...
Aztecka muerte
Addiction becomes total insanity pray this man gets clean 🙏🏾
derek eisenman
Nothing wrong with smoking crack it is just way to expensive.......
Landin Lewis
Landin Lewis Day ago
Stop praising his honesty; Being the "most honest addict" will be enough to keep him feeling justified in using. Besides, he's lying to himself every day.
Dbthavillian Brown
Poor guy
The look Patrick gives Mark at 46:03 after Mark states that “January and February have been a pretty rough ride for you” made me well up. This was at 5 am and was obviously Patrick’s first order of business for the day, and I have to believe that’s because he was hoping he could get money from Mark. That look contains the shame he feels for being in that position. My heart breaks for this dude. I’m pulling for you, Patrick.
Nicole Nettell
The fact that mark called himself a normie🥺 he gets it. I never hear normies call themselves that
please do a second follow up on patrick.
Julian Leahy
Julian Leahy Day ago
looks like Boxer Peter Mcneely
I had a friend die 2 days after her 25th birthday from complications of crack use. She had just gotten out of rehab the month before.
Suh Dude
Suh Dude Day ago
This is painful to watch
Gregor Collins
This is almost too heartbreaking to watch
Gregor Collins
The bravery of this beautiful soul.
Ryan Kirros
Ryan Kirros Day ago
the hardest thing of this for me as that in the first episode, the host talks to him about "love" and what it means to him, vs patrick ho just wants to get fixed.... then it this he now says "i love smoking crack"
Packdidit Day ago
Think a crack head paying you back shit forget it but his story is sad
Dude can stop, his teeth are even still ok? Stop crack bro! Good luck man!
juliusilori Day ago
WOW!!!...This is really getting to me. I don't do drugs anymore, thank God, but these is so close to home it's almost unbearable!!!...It can be done, I wish you well...
dec grax
dec grax Day ago
what this guys went through since he started these interviews, is heart breaking man. i hope the dude gets proper help like maybe someone reaches out gets him to a gym or something, make his new addiction a healthy lifestyle. sadly his eyes say hes made his peace with the life he leads. hope im wrong th
K S Day ago
I’m pray for this man . I feel like these videos will help him get clean . Like he has found some version of therapy and a way to be honest with himself in a safe way .
dzk Day ago
So just stop doing crack.
Victor Lindqvist
I am optimistic for Patrick! According to himself at the end of the video, it seemed like rock bottom wasn’t that far away. But perhaps he just have to hit rock bottom before he can start making a lasting change? It’s all in that brilliant mind of his!
Chewin' The Fat
He defs did something in that van
CHALK772 Day ago
Why not drive for uber a couple hours then sell the car??
Allen Adams
Allen Adams Day ago
This poor guy... I don't care how much of an asshole you are. It hurts my feelings seeing this man like this. 😭😭😔😔
Tyler Oh
Tyler Oh Day ago
I wish I could speak with him since I totally understand where he's coming from on a lot of these issues but he has a lot more difficult time controlling things. Keep your head up bro
Jordan Smith
Jordan Smith Day ago
What a good guy more powerful than he believes
dylan scronce
i feel like i could be right back to this point so...so..quick...i actually feel like im hanging onto sobriety by a thread.. im almost to that FUCK IT point..
jdlindsey99 Day ago
jdlindsey99 Day ago
I know it’s not a lot or as severe but I’m 6 days clean of weed and these videos help me a lot!
Nicholas mcdaniel
Hope you get on the path Patrick.
Clint Rubber
Clint Rubber Day ago
Wish I could help this man he seems like a great guy
hexagon sun
hexagon sun Day ago
You can tell his right arm has a lot more muscle mass than his left arm.....
its a wacky world
Lol Crack addict
Wesley Harmon
My heart goes out to this guy
setmedic Day ago
It’s all up to you. Use the power of your mind. No gods, demons, gins, or spirits will help you. Above us,only sky.
Alex Tomas
Alex Tomas Day ago
Crack is whack
Hacker interview-Gummo
On Drugs-Johnny